Progress Report

THIS IS MY CURRENT PROGRESS REPORT. WHENEVER I COMPLETE SOMETHING, I WILL EDIT THIS POST AND PUT THE COMPLETED THINGS IN RED

p. 731, #1-5

ARQ 20.3 (1)

p. 741 #1-5

ARQ 20.4 (3)

-STAR questions packet (74)

-finish Dracula chapter summaries

-write out Dracula script for Creative Project

-perform Dracula twitter feed

-complete outline for all 4 Marine chapters

-write out 80 questions for Marine

-do my fish notebook

-finish scenic model from Hell

-study for my government final

-study for my fish test

-study for my chem final

-do a SEMESTER's worth of chemistry makeup work

-write out my faith statement for confirmation

-buy garden burgers for P&D party

-check with ms. follman about projections

-make sure we have someone to pin the opera wigs

An Update on the Sob.

It's Monday. I have no rehearsals, no church services. Just me and today. My family is out watching Night at the Museum and I'm at home. I will work all day. My motivation is getting done before 11 so I can finish watching the Matrix before I have to return it to blockbuster. Here's what's done...

p. 717, #1-8

ARQ 20.1 (4)

p. 726, #1-6

ARQ 20.2 (2)

-trim the Politics of Art essay

I STILL NEED TO:

p. 731, #1-5

ARQ 20.3 (1)

p. 741 #1-5

ARQ 20.4 (3)

-STAR questions packet (74)

-finish Dracula chapter summaries

-write out Dracula script for Creative Project

-perform Dracula twitter feed

-complete outline for all 4 Marine chapters

-write out 80 questions for Marine

-do my fish notebook

-finish scenic model from Hell

-study for my government final

-study for my fish test

-study for my chem final

-do a SEMESTER's worth of chemistry makeup work

-write out my faith statement for confirmation

-buy garden burgers for P&D party

-check with ms. follman about projections

-make sure we have someone to pin the opera wigs

I THINK I MAY HAVE MORE TO DO THAN WHAT I STARTED WITH.

THIS ALL MUST BE DONE TODAY.

*panic*

THIS IS DISGUSTING. sob.

SATURDAY, REHEARSAL, 9:30AM-2:15PM

SUNDAY, WORSHIP, 8AM-12:30PM

SUNDAY, YOUTH GROUP, 7:00PM-8:30PM

CHEMISTRY:

p. 717, #1-8

20.1 ARQ (4)

p. 726, #1-6

20.2 ARQ (2)

p. 731, #1-5

20.3 ARQ (1)

p. 741, #1-5

20.4 ARQ (3)

20.4 notes

STAR question packet (74)

edit and complete Politics of Art essay

finish Dracula summaries for chapters

write Dracula script

perform Dracula twitter feed

complete coasts outline for marine

write up questions for all marine chapters

complete fish notebook

finish the scenic model from Hell

finish faith statement

do 5 chapters of makeup work for chemistry

I have Saturday, but most of that is blocked because of rehearsal.

I have Sunday, but most of that is blocked because of church things

I have Monday, no school. I will be working all day.

DO NOT ASK ME IF I CAN HANG OUT. I WILL CRY.

What's Lame

Chrissi and Sazuh are going to see Barrowman and the Hub.

Lindsey and Lizz are going to Azkatraz. 

Everyone's going somewhere. And if I don't get the money, I'm not going on the road trip.

As we go on.

Right, but what if we don't go on? I have a month. To get my grades up. And what I'd really like is if I could get all my grades way up so I have room to bomb the final. But as of now, not looking pretty. I'm doing worst in the class that I need to graduate. I need a c or better, I currently have a D, and I'd really like, an A before the final so I have room to bomb that. But that's not going to happen. My current plan is to cut off social activity until school is out. Any time I have free at school, including lunch, is to be spent in a classroom getting work done, because I know later in the day I'll be less motivated. I'm just hoping this is all enough.

Today's Mayhem

5/5/09 12:14 pm- I need to stop procrastinating. Shitty thing is, I know I won't. Just...can't. No matter how many doses of ADD meds I take.

5/5/09 1:08 pm- It's really fucking cold. Tonight I need to turn in my library book, print the crossword, do my marine colour sheet.

5/5/09 1:50 pm- How am I going to achieve the zebra bow for my prom dress?

5/5/09 4:30 pm- "Your inspirational quote made me poke myself"- Allison

5/6/09 10:17 am- Who scripts our lives?

My Addictions

Ice breakers. 

Coca Cola.

Advil.

Because BEDA Died.

An update on my life:

1. ELM: I took the Entry Level Math test. In killer heels. Bad decision. It wasn't too bad but the heels hurt. That's really all I have to say there.

2. Death of BEDA: I'm sorry I have a life. Moving on.

3. PROM!: Allison is making the most bomb-diggity prom dress in all of history, hawt. I'm super excited. I'm going to look GHETTOOO FABULOUS *in the words of Scott*

4. My Addiction: Yes, I have a problem. But Nathan, I don't need to go to rehab, for ice breakers. Seriously. Oh, god, Nathan is commandeering the computer:  She just doesn't understand that I care for her and don't want anything to happen to her. ICe Breakers are just not good for you. If you consume them by the container full a day. Back to Caitlin: I do not consume them by containers per day. I just buy them in mass so I don't have to go back all the time. Goodness.

5. Rock Revolution: was fucking amazing. I realise how completely substance-less by blog is, and I am not particularly interesting, but I love telling you guys about my day. I saw ETF and SOTY and both were amazing. I also lost some hearing in my right ear permanently, and was in my first mosh pit. Both had to happen eventually. 

BEDA 21, 22

Goooooooooooood afternoon, Campers!

Okay, if that rings a bell to you, I apologise. OCHSA is fracking amazing for him.

Didn't go to school because of STAR testing being completely useless, which I don't mind one bit. This will be short. I'm boring. Once I have something to talk about, I will.

BEDA 15,16,17,18,19,20

FUCK. Sorry, guys. I've been super busy trying to avoid failing school, which is really damn hilarious considering right about now I should e taking notes, but am instead catching up on FAILING at blogging. Basically: Britney Spears. Went to see her last night. She is fantastic. The P&D was fucking amazing, and not stoned!!!! YAY! This one will be rather short because I have better things to do, like watch my new obsession. DOLLHOUSE. Yay. Joss Whedon is a god. Moving on: woooooh I'm hyper and I love my life and I'm not gonna graduate high school!!!!! Kthxbai.

BEDA 14: Not About Me

I was looking through the Number Crunching blog, and realised this. 

The NINE things about myself, is double the size of EIGHT ways to win my heart.

Which made me think about that... One less number, half the size. Does that mean I care too much about myself and I'm won over easily? Or does that mean I know myself well and I can quickly and bluntly place down what I want in a relationship? 

Thought I had a good idea of who I was, and I guess I do. But now I really need to focus on what I mean as a person. 

BEDA 13: On the 14th

Okay so it's like, 1:11 am on the 14th. So still the 13th, in my book. Not late. Shut up.

I really want to graduate high school. But at this rate, I don't think it's happening. 

I need to get back on it. Seriously. Apologies for the lack of interesting content. It's late.

Number Crunching.

NINE things about yourself:

1. The obsession (tv show, band, etc.) I live for and worship for all of time changes once every few months, regardless of how much I say it means to me at the time.

2. The two exceptions to that rule are The Used (favourite band) and Doctor Who/Torchwood (favourite tv show)

3. I've never broken a bone.

4. My messenger bag is my canvas. It's been an ongoing project since freshman year.

5. I can't stand cheap pens.

6. You can't see my bright green walls, which I originally painted to use as green screen, because they're all covered, literally, covered, with band and Torchwood posters.

7. I feel naked without my keys on a loop attached to my belt loop.

8. I'm extremely silly, and extremely serious. 

9. I'm not straight edge. But I'm not crazy either. I just exist and hey, if there's mimosa, I'll have mimosa. 

EIGHT ways to win my heart:

1. Eyes, they have to be amazing. I'm a HUGE sucker for eyes.

2. Polite. Manners are important.

3. Be able to be both silly and serious.

4. I'm a nerd. If you're with me, you're probably some sort of nerd, too.

5. I'm big on cuddling. I like to cuddle.

6. Music = key.

7. Show me you love me in ways other than saying it.

8. Sometimes, I pay for dinner.

SEVEN things that cross my mind a lot:

1. I shouldn't be doing this right now, I should be studying.

2. Whatever my current obsession is.

3. I'd rather be in my bed.

4. I'd rather be in the ocean.

5. My best friends.

6. I'm so broke.

7. I love you.

SIX things you do before you go to bed:

1. Take off my class ring, french knot ring, and glasses.

2. Drink a glass of milk.

3. Pack my bag for the next day.

4. Brush my teeth.

5. Straighten my hair.

6. Read or talk to people.

FIVE people who mean a lot:

1. Lindsey

2. Allison

3. Daphne

4. Whatever man I'm currently obsessing over. (Currently: Gareth David-Lloyd)

5. My family.

FOUR things you're wearing right now:

1. blue tank

2. ochsa boxers

3. black lace up high top zebra print converse things

4. my rings

THREE songs that fit your life perfectly:

1. pieces mended- the used

2. what about us- john barrowman

3. mr blue sky- electric light orchestra

TWO things you want to do before you die:

1. meet every man i've ever been obsessed with (allison: duude)

2. find a true bliss to follow.

ONE confession:

1. I have no shame in how deeply my life runs on twitter.

BEDA 12: About Me

Okay, as a general announcement: It most certainly is Easter Sunday. I'm not blogging about that, so let's get that one out of the way. EASTER IS TODAY. Okay, done.

TODAY is going to be all about ME.

Because I'm that kind of conceited. 

No, JK.

But it is just going to be a brief overview of who I am, in weird circumstances. In 20 bulletpoints.

1. I face away from the showerhead when I shower.

2. I think the concept of plastic water bottles that you buy is SO dumb.

3. I have best friends in California, Colorado, New Mexico, Florida, Manchester (England), and Victoria (Australia). 

4. Jesus is my homeboy.

5. Ianto Jones is my homoboy. ^_^ I love him so much.

6. Blue Gillespie would be a much better band if Gareth actually sang.

7. But I still love them to pieces, anyway.

8. I am kind of anal about clothes, I am never completely comfortable if I don't have a tight but thin colored wife beater, like from Hollister or something, under my t-shirt.

9. I am desperately searching for a way to make sure my guitars fit at my dorm.

10. I'm considering buying two hard cases, rather than bringing my guitar stand that holds both of them.

10. My amplifier won't be a problem because it's a bit bigger than a shoebox.

11. The Doctor is the wittiest thing on the planet. 

12. Seriously, if you think I mean a physician, get off this page.

13. I'm talking about the long running scifi show on the BBC.

14. And Torchwood? Even better. <3

15. I go through phases of obsession. 

16. But The Used always have been and always will be my favourite band.

17. If you didn't notice before, I spell things the English way. 

18. And I often say British slang. A lot.

19. i.e: Oi, adding 'yeah?' to the end of a question, saying 'ello and 'ey, and saying bloody (blank) often.

20. And I am perfectly fine with who I am.

BEDA 11: Kids.

I hate kids.

I really really do. I've got no interest in them. They're messy,

and gross

and immature

and stupid

and poop everywhere.

I don't like kids at all.

But I've decided that I'm going to marry a Welsh man, and have a beautiful Welsh wedding.

(in Wales, of course)

And we'll live happily ever after. A Welsh happily ever after. And one day. If I want kids. By some weird, random chance...

I'm adopting. 

Two.

Two beautiful Welsh baby boys.

Everett and Owen.

But not O-win, like the American pronunciation. 

O-WEN. Like the real pronunciation. 

Kids.

BEDA 10: Caitlin

has a 7 page paper for her Gothic Lit class due in three days. Kthxbai.

BEDA 9: FO SHIZZLE

New friends are bomb.

Today was great, I had fun role playing. Went down to the cove and sat in the shade. Got a pretty ring.

Made a new friend. An English friend. And got a nickname. This entry is going to be rather short.

My first ever English friend, and a nickname, in one day. I like this girl. XP

Night all.

BEDA 8: The 21st Century

is when everything changes.

And the gays are ready.

Vermont passed gay marriage. That's news. 

We were discussing it yesterday over margaritas (SO gross), and my Aunt says to the table: Cheers Queers! And My aunt, my mother, and me. 

My two aunts (gay) laughed, along with my mother and my other aunt. But why was I excluded? 

I'm not sure what I am, though I can say I'm a bit brave for putting this out there. S'just, no one really knows yet. Of course, I'm not telling people because I'm not quite sure yet. Could be straight. Could be gay. Could be Jack. I have no idea, just yet.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

BEDA 7

Okay I'm not even going to try and excuse the number mix up of the past few days. I'm just starting fresh. Seven. Here I am, still in Mexico. So what am I going to blog about? Psh. Role playing.

I very much enjoy it. I play two very popular characters in a very popular tv show and I'm not going to tell you who or what because then people would know who I am which would be bad. But I do. Okay and instead of 'but', I just wrote 'btu'. Sounds like a lame AIM acronym. What would BTU stand for? But the ukulele! Bed under the...monster. Well that doesn't make much sense. 

Anyway, RP is the best thing in the world and I have so much fun doing it. It's like, I've always wanted to be involved in a tv show. And here I am. I swore I'd never get into role playing but it's kind of like, not as bad as I thought. I thought it was for complete anti-socials. But it's really quite social. And at least I'm not forgetting to pee because I'm spending all my time on WoW. At least it's not that bad...

Yet.

BEDA 3 and 4

Sorry. I'm without internet sometimes here. My dad just set a fucking time limit on my computer. So I can 'go out and enjoy Mexico'. But the thing is, I don't really like Mexico. I don't like going outside and tanning. I don't like going on long jogs. I don't like grocery shopping in another language. 

Which made me realise, I'm a horrible person. I like to stay inside and hang out on the internet. I like to eat comfort food, not try anything new. I like my comfort zone, I don't live on the edge.

I should do that. I don't mean going out and trying heroin just for shits, or going and jumping off a cliff cuz it's edgy. But I mean trying new shit. Just not heroin or anything like that.

BEDA SCHMEDA THREEDA

I got the big package in the mail yesterday. The big one. The kind of envelope you wait for your whole life. 

Right after I made my $1000 deposit on another school. See I didn't think I'd get in to the big package school. So I kind of ruled it out. Now I'm not so sure, because I feel like the school I'm enrolled in is better for me, but I should go to the big package one, because it's a more established university.

But sometimes small things come in big packages. 

BEDA Numero Dos

Today was a good day. Granted, it's only 1:37 PM, and whenever I say it's going to be a good day, or has been a good day, it usually ends up being ridiculously shitty.

But I have faith in today. I woke up late, swore, and pulled on pants as I walked out the door. I didn't do my hair, or makeup, and I felt groggy. 

But our marine science trip was great. We went to the tidepools, right by my house, and WOW I am such an un-interesting person. I'm reading this now and saying, Caitlin, this is not how you want to do this. Blog Every Day April does NOT mean ramble about your day. Let's do this and let's do this right:

Time for religious views!!

I belong to a Presbyterian church. I do not take the Bible literally, and most members of my church believe in evolution. But my faith is much different. 

I have serious trouble fathoming the idea that there is a big all-powerful man above us waving a magic wand granting us all our prayers. I believe that Jesus was a great man. He did a lot for the people and I want to live by his example. I do not sit at night praying to my God and asking that he grant me wishes. I sit at night praying to myself, trying to instill in myself the personal faith that I can live as Jesus did. 

Ooh, that was good. I might use that for my faith statement.

BEDA McOne-er-cakes

Translation: First entry in Blog Every Day April, also known as BEDA. 

Today, if you weren't aware, was April Fools. We went to the lighting classroom, and hung gel from the ceiling, and then strung Christmas lights around the scaffold, and then hung a wrench RIGHT in front of the door at head level, next to a big sign that said HEAD! We also drew chalk bodies on the floor and threw paper airplanes all around. 

For Captain Cook we filled his office with pirate gear, and for Sprek we're doing Sprek's Chex cereal. 

I'm a bit overwhelmed with schoolwork, and playing TWO characters online. I'm a geek. I've also been living solely on pringles, brie, crackers, peanuts, and cherry vanilla soda. I'm a sick human.

I Apologize.

I haven't written anything in quite some time. But there are a few things I can talk about, so in the fashion of vlogbrothers, this blog comes to you in 3 parts:

1. The Finger.

Not the middle finger, guys, relax. I had a bit of an accident yesterday in scenic design. Whilst using paint pens on the Medea set, with wooden flats for straight edges, I was rubbing my paint pen back and forth and slammed my right index finger into the wood, resulting in a large splinter of wood wedging itself through my nail. Like if you looked at my finger, you could see the piece of wood through my nail. It was between the skin and the nail, piercing it. My mother took me to the urgent care center, and they performed the operation. I was shot in the finger with novocaine, which was EXTREMELY painful, but then my finger was numb so I couldn't feel him performing the operation. I felt a vague idea of what he was doing, but I couldn't feel the pain. I could, however, tell that whatever he was doing would have otherwise been excruciatingly painful, had I not had the novocaine. It was rather bloody and not fun, and once the novocaine wore off, extremely painful. It still hurts now, quite a bit.

2. GDL

Gareth David-Lloyd, also known as GDL, was at Gallifrey, and I met him, which was amazing. But I was running around the house going GDL this, GDL that. And my mom didn't know what GDL meant, so she goes, "What is GDL? Is that some new STD I don't know about?" I was like O.O. Anywayyyyy.

3. Deviantart

Http://iambicrant.deviantart.com Go there. I have a drawing I did of Ianto, portrayed by Gareth David-Lloyd, and also the photo of me and my friends with him and Kai Owen. And a bunch of my other photography, drawings, paintings, digital work, and poetry. :D

Anyway, that's about it for now, in terms of what's been going on with me. I'll post more later if I've forgotten anything. 

Last Night

I made the decision to sleep on the other side of the bed. I usually sleep on the right side (my right, in the perspective from the bed) and last night I slept on the left. It was like an entirely new experience. I was closer to the wall, and more bundled up because my covers tuck into the side of the bed on that side. I should do things like that more often. Just mix up my daily routine in little ways, just to see how much it differs.

On another note, I've been having trouble waking up on time for school. I moved my clock to the other side of the room to see if that would help. I woke up, turned off my alarm, and climbed back in bed. I woke up again at 7:13, leaving me 7 minutes to get ready, which is plenty time. I went out to the kitchen and greeted my parents, who were excited to see I was awake. I informed them today was a gold day, and therefore an early start day, which I would be in time for. I arrived at school to be informed it was a blue day, and school wouldn't start for me for another hour and a half. I could've stayed in bed. And the one time I actually wake up early enough to make it to school on time, I don't even have those classes. Watch, tomorrow when I actually have to get up early, I'll sleep way in. 

So here I am, stuck in Mrs. Lancaster's room, with an hour and a half of free time. With all the wrong books. Oi.

On yet another note, the library is my new favorite place. I always knew it was there, and I've always had a card, I just never really took advantage of it. But I realize now how much I could have been using the library. I mean, I read books in a day, it's rather pointless for me to keep having to pay for them. Now I can just go to the library and check out 50 books, for free. And I won't have to worry about renewing them because I get them all read before two weeks anyway.

You can also check out dvds and they have Doctor Who and Torchwood for a dollar rental! Of course, you have to be 18 for that, but I can just get my mother's approval to rent them. It's much cheaper than buying the box sets for 120 dollars. And I LOVE the architecture, my library is really so beautiful. I went there to study and got so much done. I'll probably be there all the time now, since it's exactly the kind of environment I love to be in. Quiet, relaxed, big and spacious, and you're required to be polite, courteous, and quiet for others. And it's full of BOOKS. If you ever have trouble finding me, just try the library. I'm going to go there after school every day now, and on the weekends, to do my work. Even if I don't have work I will probably go just because I love it there so much. I'll just bring my computer write, or bring sketchbooks and draw the people I see, or find a book and curl up in one of the chairs there and read it in an hour so I don't have to check it out. 

I love the library. :)

How to Write Poetry

Click here http://IambicRant.deviantart.com/art/How-to-Write-Poetry-113811040 for a spoken-word piece I wrote about poetry and what we define as art in a world marginally dominated by pop culture.

The Best Feeling In The World

Is right when you climb into bed after a long day. The sheets are super soft but a bit cold and refreshing. And it's just the best. Check out my deviantART. 

http://iambicrant.deviantart.com

Could I Have More Work To Do?

Doubtful.

I'm swamped in school work. And I'm still sick. You know that kind of sick where you get a little headache every time you blink? 

That kind of sick.

I got back from Gallifrey, which was AMAZING. Me and Allison are gonna go next year, for the 21. It'll be fantastic. 

Anyway. Work.

Hello Dream Maker

With your venom spun delicately into your web. Maker of horror.

The ice cubes melt. My reality fades. 

Hello dream maker. Hello dear killer.

I love you so much.

Can Ya Dig It?

It tastes like pennies. Metal, cool, nostalgia. 

Frozen upon impact. It tastes like pennies.

Your memories taste like pennies.

Warm. Sick. Till I want to spit you back up again.

Your memories taste like pennies.

Post.

Could God forgive my lack of ability to update my blog.

It's raining outside. I'm sick, but I jumped up with grace to throw up my blinds and open my window. I'm staring out into the liquid. It's beautiful.

I'm working on Youtube videos. :0

Love Me Again.

Time hung tight, laced and sewn

into the back of my throat.

Sleeping, dormant,

only to wake, screaming.

Tearing at my lungs, demanding,

"Love me again, love me again."

Keep me close, make me your life,

Take my tears and push them through your veins.

Make your ears aware,

a path to your heart

that I can sing myself to.

Scream myself to.

There's a rare bird, an exotic life form,

creeping behind the bridge that connects you to me.

Able to fly, but cautious and scared

to perform its natural action.

Unnatural reactions.

Hands are twisted

to create the hands of a clock.

Stiff movement. Lacking oil.

Fix me. Breathe me. Mend me.

Love me again.

Love me again.

2/6/09. Do not steal, please and thank you.

This American Life

Written and performed by Phil Kaye.

David Tennant

If you're out there, I love you.

That is all.

No, actually, I wanted to write about Doctor Who (No Shit, right?). The last episode of the second season had me in hysterics, about to puke I was crying so hard. Why? Why does this show get me so much more than anything else? This show, with horrible effects, cheesy witty puns, and bad teeth, can get me this crazy. I'll have to do a little research.

Things #2

List of things Number 2

Things

orange

towel

water

life

fingernails

warmth

"If I fall,"

The Shower-Head

DISCLAIMER: This is not at all related to sexual affiliations one may have with showering. Get your mind out of the gutter.

A shower is more than 10 minutes of water and soap.

I find a shower to be a different world.

All sorts of magical things come out of my showerhead. Not just water.

Ideas, thoughts, memories. A shower is the time when I get to just stop the day. Reflect on it, relax. Dream. Sing. Think of ideas and create thoughts that would otherwise not be created during the day. During the day, you're focused on whatever you're doing at the time. A shower is timeless, placeless, limitless. You are in no specified location. You are in no specified state of mind, or state of being, or state of consciousness. You are simply there. Washing off old thoughts, creating life in new thoughts. My shower head is a magical entity. It holds water. But there's something about the feeling of the water hitting your face, stripping your mind of toxins. Cleansing your thoughts to create new innovative ideas. Just water in general. When I dive into a pool. Or the ocean or whatever it might be. 

The water is a new world all its own. A pool of creation.

I'm going to go shower now.

Some People

Really make me sick.

DISCLAIMER: This is going to sound like a generalization. This is not referring to all actors. This is referring to acting, not the career, the act of doing so.

Acting is puppetry. I am a follower of God.

Those two statements are the summary, as this is going to be a long entry.

There was a controversy a bit back about an actor, who works in the theatre industry and deals with a number of homosexual people each day, who donated an extremely large sum of money to California's recent 'Yes on Prop 8 Fund'. 

Which is rather sick. Marriage, while at one point may have been wholly religious, is now a legal matter, and our country is a separation of church and state. 

I found an entry in his journal. He made some points about waking up and looking for food, and then later felt he had sinned for putting food first. Another entry was about sin in general, and how he has sinned. He rattled off some examples of sin: committing adultery, murder, rape, swearing, taking drugs, getting drunk, smoking, and one that particularly caught my attention, practicing homosexuality. 

As if homosexuality is a practice. It could play out like this:

DOCTOR

Hello, welcome, this is my medical practice. This is my partner, Dr. Reese

ADAM

Oh hello, there, this is my homosexuality practice, here's my partner, Steve.

Homosexuality is not a practice, nor a choice. Black and white are not choices, and neither are straight and gay. 

He went on to preach as to how we need to work under God's will, to assist in the death of murder, the death of rape, the death of drugs, the death of homosexuality.

While a person in America is free to have religious views, the point where the line has been crossed has arrived. Thinking back to World War II, this is an example of straight supremacy. Back to racism, white supremacy.

When can people be accepted as humans? 

This person is clearly a puppet of God, not a follower. He mentioned how he is not to be his own, but God has a path for him. How he is a servant to God and is under His complete control. 

God wants love and happiness for all. He wants individuality. God is not a dictator. If creationism is true, than God created all of us, even gays. He meant for us all to be here. 

This man is a puppet of his Lord, and a puppet in his profession. This actor is looking for guidance, clearly. He has no sense of individuality, as he is in a profession that is constantly under direction, and under a God that more resembles a dictator.

If you know this situation, know who he is, or have any information on it, please do NOT leave any information in the comments. Opinions are to be emailed if they contain specific details, as I do not want to draw attention, or wreck this person's career.

Lastly, I will not tell you who this is. Just take the substance of the post, rather than using it as a tool for gossip.

Second Day of School.

After, of course, the days of first semester. Someone just said the first day of second semester is like the first day of school, but less exciting. He's right.

I'm in Chemistry, which basically determines whether or not I get into college. That's scary.

That is all. I'm gonna talk to my lab partner about oranges and Disneyland now.

Things #1

Technically number 2. But I'm just starting this experiment so we'll call it 1. 

After my last post, I got an idea to make a list every once in a while. Of just words, things, ideas. Anything I'm feeling. At the time. Kind of like that list of things I'm addicted to, except it's just going to be things. It could have words, it could be a song, it could have a thought, or a person. Just to sort of track my mind and its progression throughout a time in my life where my mind is growing and changing at such an extreme rate. 

Things

organization

Iron Man

clothing design

Shiny Toy Guns

college

rain

"We're not falling in love, we're just falling apart."

Density Stratification

I'm cleaning out my bathroom today.

The process consists of going through my drawers, pulling out the boxes, and emptying everything out. And then I put things I need to keep on the floor, and everything else in a big trash bag.

And I'm kind of disorganized so I don't keep things in any special fashion, I just throw things into the boxes when I'm done with them. 

So as I was going through these boxes, I noticed the layers of me. 

The very top of every box is filled with glowstick bracelets, guitar picks, deep brown eyeliner, ribbons, peach eyeshadows, colorful nail polishes, and bandanas.

Beneath that is a layer of black: eyeliners, eyeshadows, nail polish, hair dye, there's a bunch of goop-ey smoothing products, nail scissors.

After is a layer of just tubes of chapstick.

And then at the bottom layer, is lip gloss, mascara, pale pink nail polish, and barrettes.

I feel like I'm digging through layers of sediment and stone, back into the past.

Finding fossils. Artifacts. History.

I could be an archeologist of my own mind. My own past. All in a few cosmetics and hair clips. I never thought so much could be revealed about me in the contents of my bathroom. But you can see each of my phases, or stages of my own personal evolution, in the layers of stone in my drawer. It's really quite interesting.

I may have a future in archeology. The archeology of the human and the human condition.

You Found Me

Lost and insecure,

you found me, you found me, 

lying on the floor,

surrounded, surrounded,

why'd you have to wait,

where were you, where were you,

just a little late,

you found me, you found me.

 I always thought I'd be okay on my own. I've always been independent. But my life last year proves I can't be alone. Even God needs to be with me. And I know He has other people to look out for but I need a little lift sometimes. Where were you? And I don't mean God. I hope you know who you are. But you know, you probably don't even read this. Just hope you can find me before I'm lost.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Why the hell did you have to come today?

Today. Of all days. In fact, I pray year-round that we'll have rain. And the one day I need it to be sunny....it rains.

We're shooting the car scene today. Which means the actors get to run through the forest and my car is driven over rough terrain.

But because it's raining, that means the actors get to slip in mud and my car gets water and dirt and mud everywhere. Plus, all our equipment can't get wet! 

After school I'm going to lunch with Allison, and then yogurt land. And then stopping by my house to get blankets, flashlights, and anything else that might be useful for tonight's shoot. When the shoot's over, we're staying over at my place, and Friday we'll be at Trevor's all day to finish building the set. I don't know what's happening Saturday or Sunday. But hopefully some relaxing will be involved. I'll try to just finish my scenic model.

Medea.

Things I Am Addicted To

1. The Used

2. Quinn Allman

3. Avenged Sevenfold

4. Zacky Vengeance

5. My bed

6. Guitar

7. Graphics

8. Sleep

9. The Tower of Terror

10. Plaid Flannel

I don't want to get ready for my final.

Failure at Studying

My lack of motivation is omnipresent.

Allison is doing sit ups. I can't even procrastinate productively.

Instead, I write. 

Allison is on the other end of my computer screen. I'm watching her get things done. 

My room smells like cigarettes. That's my observation.

And now I'm observing Allison brush her teeth.

Finals. Finals.

It's so...permanent. The FINAL grade of your semester. This is it.

It's almost like death.

Also, omnipresent.

There Is Much To Do

1. Finish my three page study guide for marine science. It's three pages of questions I have to answer. The questions are not double spaced and no room for answers. It's like, 400 questions.

2. Actually STUDY for my marine final

3. Finish fates designs.

4. Do my scenic model (will take hours)

5. I have to eat dinner at some point and as it is a family occasion, it will take around an hour.

6. From 8 to 9 I have a doctor's appointment.

7. I also have to shower.

8. And clean out my car.

9. And I also need to organize my desk.

10. At some point, I need to work on the promotion materials for the movie.

11. And also write out a lesson plan for the crit tomorrow. 

And what am I doing instead of all these things? Blogging.

I regret not taking my meds after school. 

I Don't Know,

It just might work. 

Williams is being amazing and letting us use the MIA (Maya? Miyah? M.I.A? I don't know) curriculum to learn the most amazing animation software EVER next semester. Which is cool and all, but it brings me to this thought:

Next semester is soon.

Very soon. 

That scares me, a lot. Because I have these classes:

Marine Science

Government

Chemistry

Gothic Literature

MIA

and Late Start.

And that's a lot. And my college career depends WHOLLY on chemistry, which is hard enough, but furthermore, I didn't take first semester, so I'm going off NOTHING. 

I'm concerned for my well being.

If I don't get into Chapman, my plan is to go to Chico. But if I don't do well in Chem, I can't even go to Chico. That puts me at OCC.

Now, there's nothing wrong with OCC, it's a great school, and it has the top transfer rate in the country.

But it also means I'm a year, if not more, behind on what I really want to be doing. Which is advertising at Chapman. 

Anyone know a good chemistry tutor?

The Naming of Things

If you know me, you'll know that I name everything. EVERYTHING.

And they always end up being males.

So in this blog post, I shall give you the list of everything I've named, what I've named it, and why it is named thus.

And so it begins...

NAMES:

1. PUCK, my computer: Named thus because Puck is the best character in Midsummer, and often plays tricks. Much like my computer.

2. FRITZ, my printer: He looks regal and such, but he's always broken.

3. ALOWISCHITZ, my first iPod: Just because the name is retarded. Like, my first iPod

4. PHILLIP, my first phone. I don't know, I liked the name.

5. FREDDIE MERCURY, my second phone. Because it was God, like Freddie Mercury.

6. QUINN, my second iPod, named after the guitarist of ONE of my favorite bands.

7. ZACKY V, my third iPod, named after the guitarist of my OTHER favorite band.

8. JONNY, my acoustic guitar

9. SCOTTIE, my electric guitar

10. SYN, my current phone, the OTHER guitarist of my OTHER favorite band.

:)

Some Bits of Nonsense and A Lie

I just finished my economics final. It was fairly easy. I feel like I did well.

That scares me.

Because whenever I feel like I did well on a test, I usually have done horribly. And if I feel I've done horribly, I usually get an A. 

But if you remember my first post, I'm not allowed an opinion anymore.

On another topic, I'm sick of people lying to me. This year has gone pretty well. I've some amazing new friends, I've had some great days. Overall, it's gone quite well. And I've had some issues but I've pretty much avoided confrontation and drama with people. But I've noticed things have gone well because I haven't been calling people out. SO many people are lying to me this year. I am fine if you have an opinion separate of mine, or just don't want to hurt my feelings. But don't LIE to me. Because I've found out. And I'm sure it's because you don't want to hurt my feelings but trust me. It hurts more to find out you've been lied to. And if people are lying to me and I DON'T find out? Then I'm stuck thinking people are all fine. And then it just builds and eventually everyone explodes. If you had just told me in the first place, we'd be okay.

By the way, this isn't directed at anyone in particular. It's been happening all my life. So that's that. Let's play a game.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:

1: I am sick of certain people.

2. I don't think I'm getting into college.

3. There's a mouse in this room.

Can you guess which is the lie?

What Are You Doing?

Well, Twitter. What am I doing?

I am being forced against my will to play Uno. Uno mas tiempo. I was told I MUST play Uno, as it is imperative that I be part of this family.

As if I wasn't part of this family all weekend at Disneyland. And at my sister's basketball game. And at my other sister's choral concert. 

Be back soon. 

Uno awaits.

Nincompooponsense

I can't ever, ever, EVER say anything again about anything. Because I SWEAR I jinx it all. 

Yesterday I went to Disneyland. I went at 7:30, and the park opened at 8. I walked onto Indiana Jones, and then rode it again. Went to Splash Mountain, it was closed, so I went on Winnie the Pooh, twice. Splash Mountain reopened the second I got off Pooh so I walked on, no line. There was no one else in line, so they let us go on again. I was about to say, "What a wonderful day!", when I stopped, realizing I would most certainly jinx it. So I bitched and moaned, jokingly, of course. It was overall a wonderful day. I went home at around 3, and felt HORRIBLE. I don't know why, but I was pissed off because I had finals the next day, and needed to study, but felt too sick. 

Basically I twisted around in my bed in pain for three hours until I was finally ducked o'er the toilet, praying to the porcelain gods. And then slept for 13 hours. 

I can't say a day is good. I can't say a day is bad.

I realise, I am restricted to having any thoughts or opinions on any topics. Or I just might kill myself. O.0