Some People

Really make me sick.

DISCLAIMER: This is going to sound like a generalization. This is not referring to all actors. This is referring to acting, not the career, the act of doing so.

Acting is puppetry. I am a follower of God.

Those two statements are the summary, as this is going to be a long entry.

There was a controversy a bit back about an actor, who works in the theatre industry and deals with a number of homosexual people each day, who donated an extremely large sum of money to California's recent 'Yes on Prop 8 Fund'. 

Which is rather sick. Marriage, while at one point may have been wholly religious, is now a legal matter, and our country is a separation of church and state. 

I found an entry in his journal. He made some points about waking up and looking for food, and then later felt he had sinned for putting food first. Another entry was about sin in general, and how he has sinned. He rattled off some examples of sin: committing adultery, murder, rape, swearing, taking drugs, getting drunk, smoking, and one that particularly caught my attention, practicing homosexuality. 

As if homosexuality is a practice. It could play out like this:

DOCTOR

Hello, welcome, this is my medical practice. This is my partner, Dr. Reese

ADAM

Oh hello, there, this is my homosexuality practice, here's my partner, Steve.

Homosexuality is not a practice, nor a choice. Black and white are not choices, and neither are straight and gay. 

He went on to preach as to how we need to work under God's will, to assist in the death of murder, the death of rape, the death of drugs, the death of homosexuality.

While a person in America is free to have religious views, the point where the line has been crossed has arrived. Thinking back to World War II, this is an example of straight supremacy. Back to racism, white supremacy.

When can people be accepted as humans? 

This person is clearly a puppet of God, not a follower. He mentioned how he is not to be his own, but God has a path for him. How he is a servant to God and is under His complete control. 

God wants love and happiness for all. He wants individuality. God is not a dictator. If creationism is true, than God created all of us, even gays. He meant for us all to be here. 

This man is a puppet of his Lord, and a puppet in his profession. This actor is looking for guidance, clearly. He has no sense of individuality, as he is in a profession that is constantly under direction, and under a God that more resembles a dictator.

If you know this situation, know who he is, or have any information on it, please do NOT leave any information in the comments. Opinions are to be emailed if they contain specific details, as I do not want to draw attention, or wreck this person's career.

Lastly, I will not tell you who this is. Just take the substance of the post, rather than using it as a tool for gossip.

Second Day of School.

After, of course, the days of first semester. Someone just said the first day of second semester is like the first day of school, but less exciting. He's right.

I'm in Chemistry, which basically determines whether or not I get into college. That's scary.

That is all. I'm gonna talk to my lab partner about oranges and Disneyland now.

Things #1

Technically number 2. But I'm just starting this experiment so we'll call it 1. 

After my last post, I got an idea to make a list every once in a while. Of just words, things, ideas. Anything I'm feeling. At the time. Kind of like that list of things I'm addicted to, except it's just going to be things. It could have words, it could be a song, it could have a thought, or a person. Just to sort of track my mind and its progression throughout a time in my life where my mind is growing and changing at such an extreme rate. 

Things

organization

Iron Man

clothing design

Shiny Toy Guns

college

rain

"We're not falling in love, we're just falling apart."

Density Stratification

I'm cleaning out my bathroom today.

The process consists of going through my drawers, pulling out the boxes, and emptying everything out. And then I put things I need to keep on the floor, and everything else in a big trash bag.

And I'm kind of disorganized so I don't keep things in any special fashion, I just throw things into the boxes when I'm done with them. 

So as I was going through these boxes, I noticed the layers of me. 

The very top of every box is filled with glowstick bracelets, guitar picks, deep brown eyeliner, ribbons, peach eyeshadows, colorful nail polishes, and bandanas.

Beneath that is a layer of black: eyeliners, eyeshadows, nail polish, hair dye, there's a bunch of goop-ey smoothing products, nail scissors.

After is a layer of just tubes of chapstick.

And then at the bottom layer, is lip gloss, mascara, pale pink nail polish, and barrettes.

I feel like I'm digging through layers of sediment and stone, back into the past.

Finding fossils. Artifacts. History.

I could be an archeologist of my own mind. My own past. All in a few cosmetics and hair clips. I never thought so much could be revealed about me in the contents of my bathroom. But you can see each of my phases, or stages of my own personal evolution, in the layers of stone in my drawer. It's really quite interesting.

I may have a future in archeology. The archeology of the human and the human condition.

You Found Me

Lost and insecure,

you found me, you found me, 

lying on the floor,

surrounded, surrounded,

why'd you have to wait,

where were you, where were you,

just a little late,

you found me, you found me.

 I always thought I'd be okay on my own. I've always been independent. But my life last year proves I can't be alone. Even God needs to be with me. And I know He has other people to look out for but I need a little lift sometimes. Where were you? And I don't mean God. I hope you know who you are. But you know, you probably don't even read this. Just hope you can find me before I'm lost.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Why the hell did you have to come today?

Today. Of all days. In fact, I pray year-round that we'll have rain. And the one day I need it to be sunny....it rains.

We're shooting the car scene today. Which means the actors get to run through the forest and my car is driven over rough terrain.

But because it's raining, that means the actors get to slip in mud and my car gets water and dirt and mud everywhere. Plus, all our equipment can't get wet! 

After school I'm going to lunch with Allison, and then yogurt land. And then stopping by my house to get blankets, flashlights, and anything else that might be useful for tonight's shoot. When the shoot's over, we're staying over at my place, and Friday we'll be at Trevor's all day to finish building the set. I don't know what's happening Saturday or Sunday. But hopefully some relaxing will be involved. I'll try to just finish my scenic model.

Medea.

Things I Am Addicted To

1. The Used

2. Quinn Allman

3. Avenged Sevenfold

4. Zacky Vengeance

5. My bed

6. Guitar

7. Graphics

8. Sleep

9. The Tower of Terror

10. Plaid Flannel

I don't want to get ready for my final.

Failure at Studying

My lack of motivation is omnipresent.

Allison is doing sit ups. I can't even procrastinate productively.

Instead, I write. 

Allison is on the other end of my computer screen. I'm watching her get things done. 

My room smells like cigarettes. That's my observation.

And now I'm observing Allison brush her teeth.

Finals. Finals.

It's so...permanent. The FINAL grade of your semester. This is it.

It's almost like death.

Also, omnipresent.

There Is Much To Do

1. Finish my three page study guide for marine science. It's three pages of questions I have to answer. The questions are not double spaced and no room for answers. It's like, 400 questions.

2. Actually STUDY for my marine final

3. Finish fates designs.

4. Do my scenic model (will take hours)

5. I have to eat dinner at some point and as it is a family occasion, it will take around an hour.

6. From 8 to 9 I have a doctor's appointment.

7. I also have to shower.

8. And clean out my car.

9. And I also need to organize my desk.

10. At some point, I need to work on the promotion materials for the movie.

11. And also write out a lesson plan for the crit tomorrow. 

And what am I doing instead of all these things? Blogging.

I regret not taking my meds after school. 

I Don't Know,

It just might work. 

Williams is being amazing and letting us use the MIA (Maya? Miyah? M.I.A? I don't know) curriculum to learn the most amazing animation software EVER next semester. Which is cool and all, but it brings me to this thought:

Next semester is soon.

Very soon. 

That scares me, a lot. Because I have these classes:

Marine Science

Government

Chemistry

Gothic Literature

MIA

and Late Start.

And that's a lot. And my college career depends WHOLLY on chemistry, which is hard enough, but furthermore, I didn't take first semester, so I'm going off NOTHING. 

I'm concerned for my well being.

If I don't get into Chapman, my plan is to go to Chico. But if I don't do well in Chem, I can't even go to Chico. That puts me at OCC.

Now, there's nothing wrong with OCC, it's a great school, and it has the top transfer rate in the country.

But it also means I'm a year, if not more, behind on what I really want to be doing. Which is advertising at Chapman. 

Anyone know a good chemistry tutor?

The Naming of Things

If you know me, you'll know that I name everything. EVERYTHING.

And they always end up being males.

So in this blog post, I shall give you the list of everything I've named, what I've named it, and why it is named thus.

And so it begins...

NAMES:

1. PUCK, my computer: Named thus because Puck is the best character in Midsummer, and often plays tricks. Much like my computer.

2. FRITZ, my printer: He looks regal and such, but he's always broken.

3. ALOWISCHITZ, my first iPod: Just because the name is retarded. Like, my first iPod

4. PHILLIP, my first phone. I don't know, I liked the name.

5. FREDDIE MERCURY, my second phone. Because it was God, like Freddie Mercury.

6. QUINN, my second iPod, named after the guitarist of ONE of my favorite bands.

7. ZACKY V, my third iPod, named after the guitarist of my OTHER favorite band.

8. JONNY, my acoustic guitar

9. SCOTTIE, my electric guitar

10. SYN, my current phone, the OTHER guitarist of my OTHER favorite band.

:)

Some Bits of Nonsense and A Lie

I just finished my economics final. It was fairly easy. I feel like I did well.

That scares me.

Because whenever I feel like I did well on a test, I usually have done horribly. And if I feel I've done horribly, I usually get an A. 

But if you remember my first post, I'm not allowed an opinion anymore.

On another topic, I'm sick of people lying to me. This year has gone pretty well. I've some amazing new friends, I've had some great days. Overall, it's gone quite well. And I've had some issues but I've pretty much avoided confrontation and drama with people. But I've noticed things have gone well because I haven't been calling people out. SO many people are lying to me this year. I am fine if you have an opinion separate of mine, or just don't want to hurt my feelings. But don't LIE to me. Because I've found out. And I'm sure it's because you don't want to hurt my feelings but trust me. It hurts more to find out you've been lied to. And if people are lying to me and I DON'T find out? Then I'm stuck thinking people are all fine. And then it just builds and eventually everyone explodes. If you had just told me in the first place, we'd be okay.

By the way, this isn't directed at anyone in particular. It's been happening all my life. So that's that. Let's play a game.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:

1: I am sick of certain people.

2. I don't think I'm getting into college.

3. There's a mouse in this room.

Can you guess which is the lie?

What Are You Doing?

Well, Twitter. What am I doing?

I am being forced against my will to play Uno. Uno mas tiempo. I was told I MUST play Uno, as it is imperative that I be part of this family.

As if I wasn't part of this family all weekend at Disneyland. And at my sister's basketball game. And at my other sister's choral concert. 

Be back soon. 

Uno awaits.

Nincompooponsense

I can't ever, ever, EVER say anything again about anything. Because I SWEAR I jinx it all. 

Yesterday I went to Disneyland. I went at 7:30, and the park opened at 8. I walked onto Indiana Jones, and then rode it again. Went to Splash Mountain, it was closed, so I went on Winnie the Pooh, twice. Splash Mountain reopened the second I got off Pooh so I walked on, no line. There was no one else in line, so they let us go on again. I was about to say, "What a wonderful day!", when I stopped, realizing I would most certainly jinx it. So I bitched and moaned, jokingly, of course. It was overall a wonderful day. I went home at around 3, and felt HORRIBLE. I don't know why, but I was pissed off because I had finals the next day, and needed to study, but felt too sick. 

Basically I twisted around in my bed in pain for three hours until I was finally ducked o'er the toilet, praying to the porcelain gods. And then slept for 13 hours. 

I can't say a day is good. I can't say a day is bad.

I realise, I am restricted to having any thoughts or opinions on any topics. Or I just might kill myself. O.0